Of Love and Heartbreak
by tazitz
Summary: Letters between Jude and Tommy. Jommy
1. Loving

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N This is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Of Love and Heartbreak**

**Chapter One: Letters One and Two**

Hey Tom,

It's me. Yes, it is Jude. What's up? How's life at G Major at the moment. Home is boring, as always. Sadie bust in a minute ago yelling something about me stealing her pants, but what's new? So yeah. Has Darius agreed to a date to do a press conference? I still don't know why we have to have a press conference over the stupid thing. I mean, all that happened was that Speed and Wally got into a little cat fight, and to get them to stop, I yelled the first thing I could think of. Stop laughing. I know you are. It's not my fault they first thing I thought of to yell was "Guess what guys! I'm pregnant!" Even though it's not true, we all know that. And it's also not my fault that Darius and the other important record label people were in the foyer when it happened. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I didn't get fired. All that happened was Darius made Portia made me take a pregnancy test. Which was majorly embarrassing, especially when big D is on the other side of the door. Ew. I don't want to think of that.

Anyways, I'm bored, and I need some adventure in my life, so drop me a message. Nothing retarded though. Remember, I'm not kwest, and I don't care about any of your latest conquests...

Love,

Jude

* * *

Hey girl,  
that... was almost the best moment of my entire life. I saw it on the TV and I almost died. I wanted to call you, but Mara (my daughter, you remember?) came in and asked me what was so funny. She is one smart three year-old, but for some reason, I don't think she'd get it. Yeah, she looks more and more like her mother everyday... it makes me miss her, but not too much. My job is doing alright, I'm not too ecstatic about it, but it brings the money in, and that's all that matters right about now. Oh! I almost forgot to tell you...

I'm bringing Mara back to BC. She's never met Darius or Portia, and I especially want her to meet you. I miss you so much girl, you can't even begin to imagine. I can't wait to see your smile again; it makes it harder every day not to see you.

Good luck with the press conference. I'm sure Darius will do everything to make sure you look perfectly innocent. I miss you.

Love,   
Tommy


	2. Longing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N this is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Of Love and Heart Break**

**Chapter Two: Letters Three and Four**

How could I forget Mara? She's the reason you left BC... albeit a good reason, but the reason nonetheless. And stop talking that nonsense about my smile. You just don't have any girls (I mean, women) hitting on you now that you have a three-year-old. I can't believe you're coming back to BC! AHH! I miss you! Kwest is a good producer and all, but he's no you. You are going to produce my music when you get back right? Cuz if you aren't, then don't even bother coming out.

Ok, I lied. You HAVE to still come out. And we can take Mara shopping, and show her B.C. the way it's meant to be seen. And we can take her to go see Happy Feet... oh wow, I sound like an old grandma or something. It's just, I really want to see Happy Feet, and I need an excuse to go see it. When are you guys planning on coming out? I need details.

I'm not worried about Darius' end of the press conference. I'm worried about my end. I have this amazing ability to make things worse, not better.

Sincerely,

Jude Harrison aka Hey Jude aka Old grandma aka me

* * *

Jude... yeah, I left BC for my daughter, but do you blame me? Whatever lets not dredge up the past.  
I'm coming to BC next week actually. I was debating whether or not to tell you or just let it be a surprise, but I just had to tell you so that you didn't make any more plans or something. Oh, and Darius set the time for 1 today, which is in a few hours. He just called and we chatted for a bit...

Alright, well he went on and on about YOU and your big mouth and how it's going to get you fired, arrested, or both. So cool it for a while, promise?

Anyway, when my plane comes in, I expect for you to be waiting in the airport, a BIG sign in hand, asking Little Tommy Q if I'll marry you! I'm just kidding, girl, please don't. I do want you there though, and I want you to drive me in that hot 'Stang of yours... but if you harm either my daughter or me, there will be hell to pay, number one being you producing your own album, got it?

I miss you girl, and I can't wait to wrap my arms around you and bury my face in your hair. Wear that perfume for me, will ya?? You know the one...

Missing you more and more,  
Love,  
Tommy


	3. Laughing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N this is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Of Love and Heart Break**

**Chapter Three: Letters Five and Six**

Ok... you seriously need to stop writing all that romantic cheesiness..I can't decide whether to laugh or cry and it just makes me miss you even more! I don't think I'm gonna last these next seven days until you come back to BC. At least I have Speed to get me through. Wait, let me rethink that. At least I have subhuman friends to help distract me while the hours tick by slowly until you come back. Wow, I sound like a harlequin romance novel. I can't help it though! Tommy, I hate that you do this to me.

And of course I'll wear that perfume. I haven't used it since you left. Ok, I used it once, but that's only because Yvette is allergic to it, and Dad insisted we go to dinner, and I just wante the night to end early. Needless to say, the bottle has been sitting idle on my dresser ever since.

Yes, the press conference is at one, which means its in like 30 minutes, and I'm totally nervous! Portia keeps arguing that my hairs looks limp, and that this dress makes me look too skinny. I managed to sneak out of the dressing room, and locked myself in Jamie's 'office'.

Damn. g2g. Portia banging on the door claiming she knows I'm in here and if I don't get out she's "gonna make a positive pregnancy test and air it over all the major news channels, and tell everyone its a boy and then she's gonna.." yea. I think it's better if I just go face the music now.

Keep on keepin on crazy man!

Love,

Jude.

* * *

"I wish I knew how to quit you..." Oh god, listen to the straight man quote Brokeback... I'm sorry I make you that way girl, but I can't help it, the things you do to me make it almost impossible to think straight until I'm with you again. And you don't sound like a harlequin romance novel...

Not that I've ever read one to know or anything. And just to say, isn't a dress that makes you look skinny a good thing? It'll make people think less that you're pregnant. And your hair always looks prefect, and I believe that you know it too... Okay, so ONCE it didn't look prefect, and Speed pointed it out and got his ass yelled at, so I would never tell you it looked like crap... did any of that make any sense?

Did the perfume really make Yvette get hives or something?? HOW can you be allergic to stuff that smells like that?

By now, the press conference should be over, and I'm patiently coughNOTcough waiting to hear how it went. D already said it wouldn't air until after 9 here, and I don't fancy the idea of waiting that long to see how it went.

And if you don't get back to me soon, I'll conspire with Portia and we'll make you pregnant with a baby boy AND its mine...

got it??

Love and luck,  
Tommy


	4. Watching

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N this is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**And I'm so sorry for the long wait, but my classes are KILLING me! Please bear with us as we try to get school under control… finals are coming up, so yeah…**

**Of Love and Heart Break**

**Chapter Four: Letters Seven and Eight**

And how exactly do you plan on doing that Tommy? Just because you're coming back doesn't mean I'm gonna do the "spread eagle" with you! Ok, maybe I would, but ew! Sex is gross. Kind of. At the moment at least. Just the thought that sex leads to pregnancy and pregnancy apparently leads to press conferences, its enough to make me heave.

So, onto the big news: the press conference. Let's just say that you're lucky big D is such a great talker. I just had to stand there and nod and smile, and nod. I only had to answer one question. The stupid reporter lady almost made me look like a sleazy whore with just that one question too. She asked "So, are you going to continue sleeping around with the employees of G Major after this incident?" Ugh. I hate those questions. The ones that you can't answer correctly. If I had answered yes, I would have admitted to sleeping with my co-workers. If I had answered no, I would have implied that I was continuing to sleep with my co-workers. Which is why the thought of sex right now is kind of making me nauseous.

So, basically, I just said, "If I did sleep with anyone at G Major, I would have made sure they wore a condom. Who knows what kind of diseases you pick up after hours in a studio." I'm pretty sure they're gonna cut that part out of the tv version of the conference though. It was a sweet moment. Portia and the reporters were shocked while Darius just laughed it off, and Speed and the crew cheered me on.

Anyways, yes it did give Yvette hives. It was hilarious. Apparently she's allergic to anything that smells good. I mean, look at who she married. Not that my dad smells. It's just, he doesn't smell as good as, per say, you do.

Can't wait to hear from you. Write back when you can. I'll be waiting by the computer.

Love,

Jude

* * *

Hey babygirl,  
Sorry so long between emails. Mara got sick... REALLY sick. She had to be admitted into the hospital and it turns out she had meningitis. Yeah, it wasn't good, but she's at home now and doing fine. She'll still have to rest, but the doctor said it was alright if she flew... which means... THATS RIGHT! Mara and I are arriving tomorrow morning at 6 am, bright and early, so be there! I'm really sorry this has to be so short, but I have a lot to do in order to not be behind at work before I leave, so I'll hopefully hear from you later tonight, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Love you,  
Tom


	5. Waiting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N this is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Thanks to everyone who is being so patient between updates! It really means a lot to us!**

**Of Love and Heart Break**

**Chapter Five: Letters Nine and Ten**

Aww… poor Mara! Give the girl my love. I can't believe you guys are coming out tomorrow! EEEEEEEE! but does it honestly have to be at 6! You know how much I hate getting up early. But if it means I get to see you, it'll be worth it. School was okay today. I'm so glad I'm almost done… my senior year! AH! Anyways, nothing major happened. Went to school, was attacked by some man from the press wanting to know if I was pregnant (different source of rumor. . I'm guessing it was Eden, but who knows?) and my math teacher proved once again he is the spawn of Satan and decided to give me about 50 problems dealing with my friend, the right triangle. Boring, yes. Pointless, yes. Next person on my hit list: Liam. That jerk cut off my recording session today with Kwest, because he claimed he needed his "best producer to go get him his dry cleaning, a ham sandwich, and some flowers for his new girlfriend." Forgive if I'm wrong, but wasn't that what Jamie was for? Hmm... yeah, but I suppose the good news out of that was I'm able to write you an email now!  
Oops, g2g! I'm going out with Jamie and Speed and Kyle and Wally for dinner and then we're all gonna go see Borat. So ttyl!

Love,

The goddess of everything musical and amazing, Jude

* * *

So did you have fun with the guys?? Just as long as they don't try anything... if they do, make sure they know I'll personally kick their asses, k? And yes, it DOES have to be at 6, and thats only because that gives me another full day in BC with my favorite girl, okay? Don't worry about Eden, she was on MTV about an hour ago and she got booed out of the studio. Yeah, you should have seen it, and don't even say you did cause I know you didn't. You don't watch MTV remember? You should just open a can of whoop-ass on Liam and tell him to shove it. Yeah, that'd be the day. Mara is excited about being able to finally meet you. I've told her so much about you and I think she really understands how important you are to me. Hope all is well, and go to bed early tonight... you're gonna need it to be up bright and early!

Love from the early bird himself,  
Tom


	6. Wondering

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N This is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Since you guys have so patient, I decided to post two chapters at once… hope you like them!**

**Of Love and Heartbreak**

**Chapter Six: Letters Eleven and Twelve**

Of course I had fun with the guys! We went to Speed's favorite restaurant..you know, the Caveman Days one? It's actually Jamie's favorite restaurant now too! It was pretty exciting, and then we went to go see Borat. That movie is HILARIOUS! Wally and Kyle had already seen it, and were quoting it as it went along, but it didn't ruin it too badly. And they stopped when I smacked them for the fourteenth time. I still can't wait until tomorrow! I'm almost shaking I'm so excited! I haven't seen you in so long! And I've never met Mara, so I can't wait to see the spawn of Lil' Tommy Q. I betcha she has your eyes...You know, the ones I could stare at all day and still not know what you're thinking, but the same ones that can take one look at me and know exactly whats going on in my head? I certainly hope she has her mom's charm though...yours is just so... flattering? Embarrassing? Irresistable? All of the above? Oh, and in dealing with Liam, I just told Darius what he did, and Darius chewed him out on how he's not supposed to stop recording for food or laundry, only for very important matters. That only includes "flood, fire, or blood," according to Big D. Nice to see he's back on my side!

Anyways, it's time for me to go. I miss you more than I can say. Oh, and the boys say Hi. More accurately, they say "Oh, hey..tell him we said 'What's up?'". What more do you expect from them? Sadie also sends her salutations (you better be proud of me for using that word! It took four tries to spell it right!)  
Talk to you later!

Love,

Jude

* * *

Ohhhh Caveman Days... fun? Lets just say I'm not shaking of jealousy! Yes, I know what you're thinking, what the hell am I doing up at 330 in the morning on the morning that I'm coming to BC...

Easy. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about you and then I started getting nervous about seeing you again. I know, me, nervous, NO WAY! Oh god, I sound like a freaking chick. Shoot me now. And Mara does have my eyes, believe it or not. Sometimes she just stares at me and I look at her and she looks so much older than she really is. It kinda freaks me out, but at the same time, its really cute. Oh, and by the way, there is nothing wrong with my charm! I happened to use that on all the girls back in the BB (boyband) days, and it worked miracles. Of course, I would never think of using those charms on you, but I already have you on my side too.

And about Borat... that guy is the most annoying guy on the face of this earth, how can you stand listening to him for two seconds, let alone an hour and a half? God, kudos to you, but do not quote it... its kind of like the whole Napolean Dynamite thing. And yes, I know I spelled his first name wrong. SO not my fault, I dropped out of high school, remember?

And congrats about having D back on your side, I'm happy for you. I still say you should have kicked Liam's ass, but thats just me.

Hope you're sleeping right now, and I will see you in three hours.

I miss you more than I can possibly express in words, and I can't wait until I get to see your beautiful face and beautiful lips again.

Love,

Tom


	7. Teasing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N This is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Thanks so much to everyone for being so nice about mine and my friends situations! Hope you like chapter seven!**

**Of Love and Heartbreak**

**Chapter Seven: Letters Thirteen and Fourteen**

Its early..like 4:50 in the morning. I know you won't get this until after we see each other again, but I wanted to have the last word as always, so here we go. I can't believe I finally get to see you again. It feels like its been forever. I'm nervous. Majorily nervous. What if I've changed too much in the time you were gone, and now we have nothing to talk about. I mean, all your probably going to want to talk about it Mara, and all I'll want to talk about is whatever the latest drama in my life is. I just hope everything is the same between us. I can't wait to meet your little Mara. I bought her this really cute little teddy bear with a guitar, and a t-shirt that "My Daddy used to be a Pop Star." I saw it and bought it immediately. I hope she'll like it. I almost bought your favorite BoyzAttack cd, but thought twice, and decided against it. Ugh. It's way too early. Musn't fall asleep...

Maybe I'll stop at starbucks and get something to drink. Do you want anything? Wait..why am I asking you? It's not like you can respond. For God sakes, you're on an airplane coming here right now! AH! Ok, Jude, get a hold of yourself.

Don't worry. I'm not going insane. I'm just, you know, really excited and really tired. I'm gonna go downstairs and get some coffee, and then head down to the airport. Can't wait to see you!

Love,

Jude

* * *

Yeah, you won't have the last word. Want to know how I know? Because I'm writing this on the plane. Yeah, they let laptops in, remember? Plus, being in first class and having a "used to be boybander" status helps. We're almost 30 minutes from landing and I'm getting more and more excited by the second. I can't wait to see your face and your beautiful smile. And I'm sure Mara is going to love you. She loves anyone who gives her things... yes, a superficial child, but she is beautiful and mine, so I can't complain. I can't wait to see how many stares I get after putting her in that shirt and then taking her out. If I get mauled, it'll be all your fault, got it? I'm just kidding.

So I've spent the last ten minutes trying to figure out what to say and there it is. Only like 20 more minutes left... Got to get Mara ready for landing. I can't wait to see you... but you'll probably already have figured that one out because you'll be seeing this after you pick us up.

I love you,  
Love,  
Tom

PS If you didn't pick me up a Starbucks, I'm stealing yours. Love you.


	8. Tantalizing

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N This is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Of Love and Heartbreak**

**Chapter Eight: Letters Fifteen and Sixteen**

I can't believe you stole my starbucks. I can't believe you stole my starbucks. I can't believe you stole my starbucks. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STOLE MY STARBUCKS! Ok, I'm over it now. It's just, after seeing you for the first time since you left, and the first thing you do is steal my peppermint mocha latte..I still can't believe it. Nor can I actually believe that you're here! AH! I forgot how good you smelled, and looked. And you hair has gotten longer. And Mara! She's soo cute, Tommy! She wasn't shy or anything, either. I think she has her dad's star quality in her. Everything was "Hi. I'm Mara (insert 'Shirly Temple' smile)" or "Let's go play!". Good gracious, I can see why she has you wrapped around her finger. Although, did you HAVE to buy here every teddy bear or doll she pointed at. And don't say you didn't, because I currently have four teddy bears, and two dolls in my trunk that you forgot about, not to mention the two dolls and that purple bear Mara took inside. Geesh. I'd hate to see whats gonna happen when you have more kids. I just hope that the mom is able to tell you no, and more importantly, that you listen.

Anyways, I loved spending the day with the two of you. Shopping and all. Thanks so much for lunch, AND dinner. You honestly didn't have to. But I love the fact that you did anyways. I can't wait until tomorrow, when I get to see you both again. I was thinking, maybe I could take Mara, and we could go to the park for a picnic lunch, and Kwest and the guys can help you settle in and unpack all the big stuff. Email me back ASAP!

Love,

Jude

* * *

Oh boo hoo to you. By the way, that latte was amazing. Thanks for picking it up for me baby, I appreciate it. I cannot believe I'm finally here and I finally got to see you... it feels like its been years since I've seen you! Mara is So not wrapped around my finger girl. She's just a daddy's little girl, and I have the first 4 years of her life to make up for. And I told you she'd love you is you bought her stuff. When I gave her her bath, she wanted to wear her new shirt and threw a fit when I told her that she should save it for tomorrow...

So I kinda gave in. Yes, so maybe I'm a little soft, but again, I have 4 years to make up for. Oh, and having a picnic tomorrow would be amazing. Just so long as either I cook or you order out... I will not have my child dying of sort of sickness related to your cooking! When I have more kids, they will be just as loved and all that as Mara and they won't be spoiled (and Mara is not spoiled), no matter what the mother says...

Knowing you, you'd probably spoil them just as much as I will!

You're welcome for lunch and dinner, but it was truly an honor. I've missed you so much and being able to spend time with you is enough to make me die happy. I can't wait for tomorrow. Get back to me asap. Love you.

Love,  
Tom

PS Mara says hi and she wants you to bring your guitar with you to the picnic.


	9. Talking

**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star. If I did, we wouldn't be waiting until February for Season 3!**

**A/N This is being written by my friend and me. I am Tommy and my friend is Jude. Please read and review and let us know what you think!**

**Of Love and Heartbreak**

**Chapter Nine: Letters Seventeen and Eighteen**

Sweet.. I look forward to the picnic, although I'll have you know I can make a completely perfect picnic lunch, and no one will get sick! And I told you she has you wrapped around her little finger! HA! Oh, and I know you're kids will all be loved the same..its just with that love comes a TON of spoiling. Not just from you, but from everybody. Did you see the way Kwest and Jamie treated Mara when we stopped by G Major? I think even Wally tried to sneak her some candy. Kyle and Speed both played dinosaur with her, and even Big D played a little bit of patty-cake. Yikes. One child and everyone turns into a big softy at G Major.

I'm sorry I don't have much to write, because I'm tired, and you stole my starbucks, and now I don't have any caffiene. Tell Mara I'll totally bring my guitar to the park tomorrow.

Oops. Gotta go. It's late and Mom's yelling at me about something. Miss ya, but I'll see ya tomorrow!

Love,

The Rebel.

Also Known As.

Me

Jude.

* * *

I don't believe it. I love you, yes, but I don't believe it. You actually made something edible without getting any of us sick! I'm impressed Harrison, you've changed...

Unless this food you made was just delivered and you just put in in tuperware to make it look like you did it... huh, thats a thought.

And again, I will testify that she does not have me wrapped around her finger!!!!!!!! Yes, I did see the way that all the men of G-Major just flocked to her... If I don't keep an eye on her, she's gonna have a hot producer (if she becomes a singer) and she's gonna be 17 and be in love with someone a hell of a lot older than her.

Sound farmiluar? Yeah, thought so. Man oh man, when she hits puberty, I may just have to lock her in her room until she turns 21 and I have no choice but to let her go. God, thats a scary thought... having to let my little girl go...

Yeah, I'm getting soppy, but I guess I can get over it considering she IS only 3 now... that gives me maybe 10 more years until she realizes boys really don't have cooties.

Oh, and Mara is officially your biggest fan. She hasn't stopped singing "Your Eyes" (yeah, not too happy about that) or "Time to be your 21" (not too happy about that one either). Why must you write such catchy songs about your ex's or me? When she grows up, she may just figure everything out and realize what an asshole her father used to be. God, I'm not looking forward to that.

I have to go now love. Mara is screaming for some unknown reason so it's up to SUPER DAD(!) to figure out what's wrong. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.

Love,

Tom


End file.
